Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize