Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
