I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
