I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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