Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize