I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it wasn't lemon gatorade
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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