ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
