you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize