What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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