I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
