people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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