Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
