Jerry, you need to find god
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
