It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
