Plan B is the new Plan A
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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