I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
