I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
