my sisters under your porch take her home
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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