i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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