All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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