Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize