3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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