I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
