it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
