I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
