is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need a beard to bite.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
