i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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