My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
