i need an iv and a liver transplant
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
