I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
