Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
