eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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