I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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