I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
