If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
