meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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