yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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