Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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