Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
