I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
