I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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