I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
