I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
