You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
