Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
