Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
