make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
