My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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