i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
