3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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