why didn't you poke me back
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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