Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
