my soul wont recognize me after tonight
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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