I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
