We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
