the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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