And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
