you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
